A better way to do a Blow-job?

So many things to be snarky about, and my mind is like some sort of evil hop-scotch game....my thought train derails often, so I think I will pick leaf blowers for today's rant, as it seams like a relevant topic in autumn.

A leaf blower is gardening tool that propels air out of a nozzle to move yard debris such as leaves. (according to Wikipedia).

To me the are an useless, annoying tool, that people use to annoy their neighbors and or to be lazy sacks of crappola.

I live in a townhome, so I pay money to the association to take care of lawn maintenance. They in turn pay some money to the lowest bid landscapers to take care of lawn maintenance. Mostly I am happy that I don't have to mow the 6 foot by 6 foot area known as my backyard, but on rare occasions, they landscapers sleep under my front tree and scare the crap outta me when I come home at lunch time to train my pets, as it isn't everyday you see a body lying on your front lawn (ok when it hasn't been an all night kegger)!

Anyways, back on the topic, they use leaf blowers to move the dead, fallen leaves onto the street, where in turn passing cars blow them back onto the lawns. WTF was the point? What a freaking waste of gas and time. Either rake the leaves-which I would have no problem doing myself, or mulch them with a mulching attachment on the lawnmowers. I like to be green and stuff, so this seems like a better idea for the environment, not to mention the fucking noise those little bastards make. It is the gardening worlds answer to nails on a chalk board! (as you see I am green, but more over annoyed)

Maybe if these items were even the least bit useful I wouldn't have a problem with them.

But El, I have a hurt back and can't rake-My answer...that is what your kids are for, or the neighbor kids are for. We need kids to do more manual labor, isn't there an epidemic in this nation of fat little bastards running around. Paint your rake like a Wii controller and tell them it is a new game.

But El, Little Johnny doesn't listen to me- Beat little Johnny or load him up on ADHD drugs like all your friends are doing. Give 5 bucks to the neighbor kid to do it and tell him/her you won't tell their parents about their habit of smoking/drinking..fill in the blank.....blackmail is your friend!

Happy Friggin Autumn!