Ok, so most of you know I am already in my holiday mind set and listening to Holiday music (WLIT in Chicago) and (WSWT in Peoria). I love music. I would die if no melodies sang to my heart. I come from a family with some pretty impressive musical talents (including opera, elite children's choirs, and such) I was lucky in my youth to sing and hopefully will make music a love when I have children.
Now that it is the holiday season, I fully look forward to hearing new and classic Christmas and Holiday music. O' Tannenbaum by Vince Guaraldi Trio (the Peanuts music) just jazzes me all up, as does Josh Groban's O' Holy Night for it's power and musical beauty. I am also fond of Dominick the Donkey from Lou Monte. I have a CD case devoted to all my Holiday CD's and I may need a new one soon. One of my Favorite memories was of my mother (before going bat shit crazy and being an alcoholic) would get out her favorite Holiday albums (yes kiddos, vinyl) The best one was not only an awesome record, as it was see-through red, but it had a collection of beautiful carols. I was also delighted when she put on the "Little Drummer Boy" record which has carols, Gospels, and spirituals on it.
Anyways, this brings me to the WORST Christmas song ever......Christmas Shoes performed by NewSong (2000). I am not alone in this judgement, as In Tom Reynolds 2006 book I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, he names "The Christmas Shoes" as the most depressing song in modern recorded music history (per wiki) I just heard this song for the hundredth time, and I want to slit my wrists.
How the Hell does some one's mom dying and being poor have to do with either Christmas/Jesus's Birth/Sparkley Commercialization Joy?
Here are some of the uplifting lyrics:
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.
Wow-thanks, where is the nearest bridge to jump from? Oh and they have kids singing this. Poor children! I donate to a cause every Christmas, even when I don't have much, because I want to share the joy of the season with people who were like me and struggle with life. If I want to be guilted into savoring life I will listen to another Favorite:
Christmas Song from South Park: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics.
The minute we're born we start dying
We die a little more every day
Young or old Rich or poor
There's nothing we can do to stop it
So look long at that Christmas tree
It may be the last one that you see.
Decorate your house in green and red
'Cause someday you'll be dead.
Chorus-sang by Kids also-
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday you'll be dead
Dead, Dead, Dead
Someday we'll all be dead
At least this song is uptempo and is on the same album as Merry Fucking Christmas and The Lonely Jew On Christmas which are also a holiday treat! (yes I know-I am going to Hell)
The Tin Foil Angel- Adventures in food, art, and random crap.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Color Me Fabulous!
As some of you know I went to college and studied art. I have a pretty good grasp of art history, color theory and all that other stuff, although I didn't graduate (because if illness, not grades) and I really spent more time at IIT becoming a wanna-be geek, but that is besides the point. I know color and I know my crayons! Specifically Crayola, the gold standard in the kids coloring world and in mine.
When I was a child it was pretty obvious that I loved drawing and coloring. The 8 pack of crayons were just so not gonna do. I skipped all the smaller sizes and went for the 64 box. Oh yeah baby. Then for my 7th birthday I got the crayola master set (or whatever it was called). It had over 100 crayons and water colors, brushes, and all that fantastic plastic joy. Anyways, even though I had this big choice of colors, I always seemed to go to my Crayola 64-box first.
Each color I can think of a memory, I will only list a few to not bore those here who are still reading.
All my friends thought that the white crayon was useless. I mean we mostly colored on white paper, and even if we used construction paper it was rare and we were prolly not using crayons. I however, loved the white crayon, not for coloring, per say, but as my little oops friend. I wasn't allowed to have white-out (really what 4-8 year is?) but I did have my handy dandy white crayon to save the day when I maybe, accidentally was playing with my baseball in the house, and it left a mark on the wall. Easy fix for me and mister white crayon. I just applied a hardy press and poof, the mark was hidden (as we had white walls in our house-my mom only ever painted the bedrooms and not the other living areas) Granted it didn't match the paint exactly, but my parents were never that observant anyways!
Thinking back, I can remember my friends and I comparing proper coloring techniques while coloring in a coloring book. Do you re-outline the image, then shade lightly within those lines, or do you go heavy handed with the wax?
Now Crayola has introduced colors for decades. I usually don't have issue with crayon names, but sometimes they just annoy me. Like when they introduced Purple Mountain's Majesty in 1993. I mean really, don't you think this is just a touch wordy for an audience using coloring books? Is Lavender just too simple, because that is what the color really is. The same goes for Wild Blue Yonder introduced in 2003. It is a dusty blue, which is none to wild in itself.
You have to admit, there is something comforting in seeing a new box of crayons just waiting to be used. That deep yellow box with the possibility for you to be 5 again. And yes, I love the way a new crayon smells! Now I want to go color too!
When I was a child it was pretty obvious that I loved drawing and coloring. The 8 pack of crayons were just so not gonna do. I skipped all the smaller sizes and went for the 64 box. Oh yeah baby. Then for my 7th birthday I got the crayola master set (or whatever it was called). It had over 100 crayons and water colors, brushes, and all that fantastic plastic joy. Anyways, even though I had this big choice of colors, I always seemed to go to my Crayola 64-box first.
Each color I can think of a memory, I will only list a few to not bore those here who are still reading.
All my friends thought that the white crayon was useless. I mean we mostly colored on white paper, and even if we used construction paper it was rare and we were prolly not using crayons. I however, loved the white crayon, not for coloring, per say, but as my little oops friend. I wasn't allowed to have white-out (really what 4-8 year is?) but I did have my handy dandy white crayon to save the day when I maybe, accidentally was playing with my baseball in the house, and it left a mark on the wall. Easy fix for me and mister white crayon. I just applied a hardy press and poof, the mark was hidden (as we had white walls in our house-my mom only ever painted the bedrooms and not the other living areas) Granted it didn't match the paint exactly, but my parents were never that observant anyways!
Thinking back, I can remember my friends and I comparing proper coloring techniques while coloring in a coloring book. Do you re-outline the image, then shade lightly within those lines, or do you go heavy handed with the wax?
Now Crayola has introduced colors for decades. I usually don't have issue with crayon names, but sometimes they just annoy me. Like when they introduced Purple Mountain's Majesty in 1993. I mean really, don't you think this is just a touch wordy for an audience using coloring books? Is Lavender just too simple, because that is what the color really is. The same goes for Wild Blue Yonder introduced in 2003. It is a dusty blue, which is none to wild in itself.
You have to admit, there is something comforting in seeing a new box of crayons just waiting to be used. That deep yellow box with the possibility for you to be 5 again. And yes, I love the way a new crayon smells! Now I want to go color too!
Cheese mmmm
What is Low-class cheese you ask? It is cheese that you would not serve on a fancy cheese board with a vintage wine(The fancy stuff being Brie, Gorganzola, Asiago ect...). Personally I love the lower-class cheeses. Not to knock fancy cheese, but sometimes you just need a fix of the artificially orange "cheese product"!
Cheez Wiz. Yes the beautiful gooey cheese in a jar. It is essential to the Philly cheese-steak for some people. A recipe published by Pat's King of Steaks says, with regard to cheese, "We recommend Cheez Whiz; American or Provolone works fine."The proprietor of Geno's, however, considers provolone or American cheese more authentic, but Pat's introduction of Cheese Whiz allowed it to quickly become a "topping of choice.
It is also a great topping to french fries.
Easy Cheese. Processed Cheese product distributed by Kraft Foods, also referred to aerosol cheese (no aerosol is used though) or spray cheese. It comes packaged in a spray can, much like canned whipped cream. One of my favorite "heart attach snacks" is taking easy cheese and spraying it inside a "Bugle" snacks, so that it forms a cheesy ice-cream cone looking thing.
Velveeta. Another processed cheese product. A great thing to do with Velveeta is melt it in the microwave with salsa and a slash of milk and you have a warm and cheese dip for nachos in just a minute. mmmmmm Velveeta also can be used in fudge. Yes Fudge. I would never have believed it, but it does exist and tastes good!
Nacho Cheese (from a can). I don't think I could go to a hockey game with out ordering stadium nachos with extra cheese. Oh that glorious melted, spicy cheese from a can. Besides nachos, it is also a tasty addition to fries, chili, baked potatoes, hotdogs and corn bread.
American Cheese. The most famous of the processed cheese. How can anyone not like this cheese. It is the corner stone of America (hence the name!) Everyone loves a grilled cheese sandwich, and the most used cheese for that sandwich is American Cheese. I think it should be unpatriotic to hate American Cheese.
Cheez Wiz. Yes the beautiful gooey cheese in a jar. It is essential to the Philly cheese-steak for some people. A recipe published by Pat's King of Steaks says, with regard to cheese, "We recommend Cheez Whiz; American or Provolone works fine."The proprietor of Geno's, however, considers provolone or American cheese more authentic, but Pat's introduction of Cheese Whiz allowed it to quickly become a "topping of choice.
It is also a great topping to french fries.
Easy Cheese. Processed Cheese product distributed by Kraft Foods, also referred to aerosol cheese (no aerosol is used though) or spray cheese. It comes packaged in a spray can, much like canned whipped cream. One of my favorite "heart attach snacks" is taking easy cheese and spraying it inside a "Bugle" snacks, so that it forms a cheesy ice-cream cone looking thing.
Velveeta. Another processed cheese product. A great thing to do with Velveeta is melt it in the microwave with salsa and a slash of milk and you have a warm and cheese dip for nachos in just a minute. mmmmmm Velveeta also can be used in fudge. Yes Fudge. I would never have believed it, but it does exist and tastes good!
Nacho Cheese (from a can). I don't think I could go to a hockey game with out ordering stadium nachos with extra cheese. Oh that glorious melted, spicy cheese from a can. Besides nachos, it is also a tasty addition to fries, chili, baked potatoes, hotdogs and corn bread.
American Cheese. The most famous of the processed cheese. How can anyone not like this cheese. It is the corner stone of America (hence the name!) Everyone loves a grilled cheese sandwich, and the most used cheese for that sandwich is American Cheese. I think it should be unpatriotic to hate American Cheese.
Friday, January 29, 2010
iJokes for the iPads
I guess I will never understand the jizzfest for every time Apple does anything, then again I am not a trust fund baby who needs every new toy to validate my state of awesomeness. I will say I want a Macbook for the graphics and art reasons, but in the real world we use Windows.
Anyways here are my favorite iPad jokes so far:
It is on "the bleeding edge of technology!
"Is there some kind of alternative tablet I can use in case I have to go swimming?
"Can I still wear white pants? Will it make them look bulky?"
"I hate them too. Period."
"Will women send their husbands to the Apple store to buy iPads?"
“You can go everywhere with it, but NOT IN THE POOL!“
When your iPad spends a lot of time with other iPads, they sync up.
It has a super-cute pink scented carry case that fits discreetly in your purse.
If your iPad gets cranky, it’s not your iPad’s fault. But you should probably shut the f**k up and stop being so annoying.
If you take your iPad with you in the ocean, you’re more likely to get eaten by a shark.
If your iPad is making you feel sick, perhaps they have a remedy at Research in Motrin.
So I can say "That chick is on her iPad" and not be called a pig? Thank you Apple.
Anyways here are my favorite iPad jokes so far:
It is on "the bleeding edge of technology!
"Is there some kind of alternative tablet I can use in case I have to go swimming?
"Can I still wear white pants? Will it make them look bulky?"
"I hate them too. Period."
"Will women send their husbands to the Apple store to buy iPads?"
“You can go everywhere with it, but NOT IN THE POOL!“
When your iPad spends a lot of time with other iPads, they sync up.
It has a super-cute pink scented carry case that fits discreetly in your purse.
If your iPad gets cranky, it’s not your iPad’s fault. But you should probably shut the f**k up and stop being so annoying.
If you take your iPad with you in the ocean, you’re more likely to get eaten by a shark.
If your iPad is making you feel sick, perhaps they have a remedy at Research in Motrin.
So I can say "That chick is on her iPad" and not be called a pig? Thank you Apple.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
I get the power to name a kid?
Now that I am knocked-up, I have been getting alot of questions about what will I name this child. Thanks to the Duggars (of 19 kids and counting) I have been asked what letter are we going with. Well being this is our first child, and most likely last, cause I am not doing this again, I am not sure that we need to pick a letter that will have tons of options for future kids. However we did name our pets with the same letter of "M" and made it a theme. Maybe we should just keep going with that theme for the future kid, I mean why ruin a tradition right?
So the pets names are Mimosa (a kitty that plays fetch) and Marteeny (my brain damaged dog).
So with the letter "M" and alcohol theme we have tons of choices for our sweet bundle of joy.
If it is a girl we like the following:
Margarita, kinda common though.
Merlot, sounds all fancy like, don't it?
Midori (which means Melon in Japanese so we get bonus points for international flair)
MaiTai, but that sounds kinda slutty to me.
If it is a boy we like the following:
Mojito, aka Mo
Manischewitz (but then we would have to make sure the baby had a circumcision to keep kosher)
Mezcal, which would be awesome cause we could nickname the kid "the worm".
Michelob, but then some kid name Budweiser might beat him up.
Mad Dog 20/20, that would be awesome, especially if he followed in his parents academic prowess and became Valedictorian and the principal had to say that name in front of all the other kids named Micheal and Mary and their parents.
Well hopefully I can make a good decision when the time comes to sign the birth certificate.
So the pets names are Mimosa (a kitty that plays fetch) and Marteeny (my brain damaged dog).
So with the letter "M" and alcohol theme we have tons of choices for our sweet bundle of joy.
If it is a girl we like the following:
Margarita, kinda common though.
Merlot, sounds all fancy like, don't it?
Midori (which means Melon in Japanese so we get bonus points for international flair)
MaiTai, but that sounds kinda slutty to me.
If it is a boy we like the following:
Mojito, aka Mo
Manischewitz (but then we would have to make sure the baby had a circumcision to keep kosher)
Mezcal, which would be awesome cause we could nickname the kid "the worm".
Michelob, but then some kid name Budweiser might beat him up.
Mad Dog 20/20, that would be awesome, especially if he followed in his parents academic prowess and became Valedictorian and the principal had to say that name in front of all the other kids named Micheal and Mary and their parents.
Well hopefully I can make a good decision when the time comes to sign the birth certificate.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Happy New Years!
Happy New Years-only a few days late. Been pretty sick with this pregnancy. I went to the my favorite doctor and found out I lost 14 pounds, but baby is ok. Get to go back in 2 weeks for more test cause of my serious complications.
Thank goodness for friends support, cause living on strict bed rest is oh so much fun as is puking 24/7.
Being stuck in bed with just TV has lead to some fun times and new obsessions, the Slap-Chop remix rap commercial.
Well to tired to write more now. Hopefully I will get my ass in gear soon!
Thank goodness for friends support, cause living on strict bed rest is oh so much fun as is puking 24/7.
Being stuck in bed with just TV has lead to some fun times and new obsessions, the Slap-Chop remix rap commercial.
Well to tired to write more now. Hopefully I will get my ass in gear soon!
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