iJokes for the iPads

I guess I will never understand the jizzfest for every time Apple does anything, then again I am not a trust fund baby who needs every new toy to validate my state of awesomeness. I will say I want a Macbook for the graphics and art reasons, but in the real world we use Windows.

Anyways here are my favorite iPad jokes so far:

It is on "the bleeding edge of technology!

"Is there some kind of alternative tablet I can use in case I have to go swimming?

"Can I still wear white pants? Will it make them look bulky?"

"I hate them too. Period."

"Will women send their husbands to the Apple store to buy iPads?"

“You can go everywhere with it, but NOT IN THE POOL!“

When your iPad spends a lot of time with other iPads, they sync up.

It has a super-cute pink scented carry case that fits discreetly in your purse.

If your iPad gets cranky, it’s not your iPad’s fault. But you should probably shut the f**k up and stop being so annoying.

If you take your iPad with you in the ocean, you’re more likely to get eaten by a shark.

If your iPad is making you feel sick, perhaps they have a remedy at Research in Motrin.

So I can say "That chick is on her iPad" and not be called a pig? Thank you Apple.

I get the power to name a kid?

Now that I am knocked-up, I have been getting alot of questions about what will I name this child. Thanks to the Duggars (of 19 kids and counting) I have been asked what letter are we going with. Well being this is our first child, and most likely last, cause I am not doing this again, I am not sure that we need to pick a letter that will have tons of options for future kids. However we did name our pets with the same letter of "M" and made it a theme. Maybe we should just keep going with that theme for the future kid, I mean why ruin a tradition right?
So the pets names are Mimosa (a kitty that plays fetch) and Marteeny (my brain damaged dog).
So with the letter "M" and alcohol theme we have tons of choices for our sweet bundle of joy.

If it is a girl we like the following:

Margarita, kinda common though.

Merlot, sounds all fancy like, don't it?

Midori (which means Melon in Japanese so we get bonus points for international flair)

MaiTai, but that sounds kinda slutty to me.

If it is a boy we like the following:
Mojito, aka Mo

Manischewitz (but then we would have to make sure the baby had a circumcision to keep kosher)

Mezcal, which would be awesome cause we could nickname the kid "the worm".

Michelob, but then some kid name Budweiser might beat him up.

Mad Dog 20/20, that would be awesome, especially if he followed in his parents academic prowess and became Valedictorian and the principal had to say that name in front of all the other kids named Micheal and Mary and their parents.

Well hopefully I can make a good decision when the time comes to sign the birth certificate.

Happy New Years!

Happy New Years-only a few days late. Been pretty sick with this pregnancy. I went to the my favorite doctor and found out I lost 14 pounds, but baby is ok. Get to go back in 2 weeks for more test cause of my serious complications.

Thank goodness for friends support, cause living on strict bed rest is oh so much fun as is puking 24/7.
Being stuck in bed with just TV has lead to some fun times and new obsessions, the Slap-Chop remix rap commercial.

Well to tired to write more now. Hopefully I will get my ass in gear soon!