Where to start. Valentines past? Whining for current romance.? Silly whims and dreams of romantic woman?
I come to the impending holiday of Love with mixed emotions. I love making heart crafts with the spawn. I dread hearing over the top love stories though. The remind me of failures and disappointments.
I got engaged in a surprise on Valentines Day. My boyfriend was scheduled to work it, so he came over that night with a teddy bear for me. I though that was so adorable. He came over to my window late at night very romeo and Juliet style, just to make sure I got it on midnight. I went to sleep happy. I was awoken the next morning to a call from the BF saying he needed me at his house urgently. I got there as fast as I could. I walked into the home and roses where everywhere. candles to. Turns out he didn't have to work and want to propose. (insert the awwwww). To bad that relationship when down in flames like the Hindenburg.
Fast forward to my Husband. Romance is not his thing. I know that, but I didn't realize that our engagement would have the emotions of shame, sadness, and crippling self worth. Not things you want with a happy time that it is supposed to be. From a cheap tiny ring that was almost the same as my previous promise ring from the ex-(and not my style) to the get it handed to me while watching move credits (no big will you question all girls dream of) to well we gotta keep this secret to my parents as your aren't good enough for them. Oh it was magical alright, especially knowing he was staying with his crush over this same time period and getting to here how beautiful and wonderful she is. I was pretty much ready to find a gun and go all Jeremy from Pearl Jam on myself. I still struggle with this. So yeah Happy Valentines day.
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